Sometimes I feel like God is literally talking to me, letting me know he has not forgotten what I have come through and showing me reasons why I can continue to be strong. Reminding me that my babies lives have not been forgotten and that they have made a huge difference in not only our lives, but others as well. I found out a good friend's child was born with a disorder. Although not life threatening, scary and a huge surprise none the less. She is so lucky to have been born into an amazing, accepting and loving family. With a mother who would have her no other way than how God made her. But I have to say, her birth made me sit and think long and hard if I had a child, before I lost Emma, how would I have handled it? How would I have felt without knowing what I know now? Of course I would have loved the baby, but I wouldn't have had the gift to see life the way I do if it hadn't been for my baby girl. Emma changed every fiber of my being. Losing her made me a different person than I was before. She made me view life and death, birth, pregnancy, motherhood, myself differently. She made me question things I had never thought to question before, enjoy things I had taken for granted and ask for more out of others than I had.
Four years. Saturday will be 4 years since the date of her diagnosis - Tuesday will be her 4th birthday. Last night I sent out an evite for Wy's 4th birthday party. Yesterday I talked with Austin's mom about how it will be the same amount of time that Austin was here. Four years. It has been a long 4 years....
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